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Some of you may be reading the heading right now and be thinking, “What do you mean it’s not relevant? It’s all that really matters!” Yes, well don’t worry, I’m still on your side. I’m not saying that you are committing yourself to a lifetime of dull, boring, and completely unexciting sexual experiences.
In fact, what I will be showing you is how you can have amazing, passionate, exciting, mind blowing sexual experiences with a woman that you care about. When posed with the idea of how important is sexual compatibility is I had to laugh. I believe it’s a great misconception that sexual compatibility is actually relevant at all. Having a sexual experience with your partner is an extension to the solid foundation you have built with them. It’s taking those same communication skills you have in everyday life and applying them to the bedroom. They are not two separate spaces. They are both part of the same whole. Sex is not some added bonus or icing on the cake. It makes up the cake.
Where compatibility really matters …
The core things that are required to create the solid foundation of a relationship are shared values, open lines of communication, unconditional acceptance, honesty, courage, emotional maturity, and the need and desire for both people to put their relationship first. The magic happens in the combination of all these factors working together. The magic happens when there is compatibility here on all levels!
In part of my research for this article, I looked up sexual incompatibility in marriages. I read and analyzed many of the different concerns partners had. There was one common theme I could see weaved throughout all the stories that I read.
Here it is – sexual incompatibility was the symptom of a greater cause: a breakdown of the relationship in some form.
These breakdowns were represented in a number of forms but could be boiled down to poor lines of: communication, understanding, acceptance, and vitality in the relationship. They all boiled down to emotional incompatibility issues happening with the relationship. It sounds so simple. Despite this, it’s why I believe that a healthy relationship will have a healthy sex life. And an unhealthy relationship will have an unhealthy sex life. Again, yet another deceivingly simple but profound concept.
What do I believe is the number relationship breakdown cause? It is this: the woman withholding the true expression of her femininity – and the absence of a strong masculine energy to draw it out.
Women don’t like sex?
Now, let me dispel another treacherous and damaging myth about women. There is the common belief out there that men are more interested in sex than women or that women simply are not interested in sex. Wow. Really?
Well let me tell you the truth: the majority of women actively enjoy regular, exciting, and fabulous sex with their man WHEN she feels completely safe to unleash all her femininity.
And, this is the kind of sex which can last a lifetime. This is about a woman having a sexual desire for you throughout the entirety of your relationship. When a woman’s emotional needs are met at high levels – she may as well hold up a sign that reads, “Come in …. whenever you want, however you want, and as many times as you want.”
Meeting a woman’s emotional needs doesn’t necessarily involve treating her nice all the time. It doesn’t mean keeping quiet when you really want to say something. It doesn’t mean complying with what she asks you to do. In fact, meeting her emotional needs could mean doing the opposite of all of that. It does mean being able to: call to her playful side; easily handle her moodiness; and at times – anticipate her needs. It does mean truly valuing and caring about her: feelings, wants, needs, and desires. It does mean reading between the lines to see THINGS she may not be able to directly communicate to you. Your competency in being able to do all of this will help a woman feel more: secure, safe, protected, and trustful of you as her man. She will be able to more fully embrace her femininity on all levels.
Understanding a woman 101
Let me give you a little correlation lesson. The more feminine a woman feels. The more sexual attraction she will feel for you. The more she is going to want to jump your bones, again and again and again. How do I know that this is true? Only from first hand experience of the different sexual attraction different men can draw out on me. I also see this in the way my girlfriends respond to particular guys.
There were some guys they dated where their sexual attraction was mild at the best. And, other guys they dated who turned them into this horny little devils.
Women are always responding to a man’s energy. You project. She absorbs. Just think about how that works in the bedroom, too. Meaning you project energy (in all forms) and she absorbs and responds to this energy (in all forms). When a woman is: excited, interested, attracted, and completely happy with a man she turns into a little sex kitten. He unleashes her. And, then they get to unleash each other. If you are not getting the response you are looking for then you need to become aware of energy you are projecting and if this woman is emotionally, mentally and intellectually compatible with you.
What makes a woman want to jump you …
Think about it. This is the reason why it is so hard for a woman to be intimate with you when she is upset about something specifically to do with you or the relationship. When a woman feels upset about something, usually it’s because she feels threatened in some way. As a biological response it is NOT NATURAL to want to be more open and receptive and vulnerable when you are feeling threatened.
If you can continually re-establish, nourish, and protect her safety on all levels she will have no reason to withhold.
She will become more open, receptive, girly, expressive, and feminine with you. She will be able to appreciate, validate, and give many different emotional and physical gifts to you. She will show a keen sexual interest, desire, and passion for you.
When a woman feels comfort, safety, protection, excitement, and happiness about herself in relation to a man and the relationship she will DO ANYTHING to keep that man happy.
Her preferences of what she likes and does not like will go out the window. She will be so willing to serve and please you – to the point it will even surprise you. When a woman is completely open she will DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING to make her man happy. Keep in mind that women are naturally geared to give. This is the very essence of feminine energy. It’s about giving and developing rapport with others. They want to open to a man. They want to explore things with a man that really excites them. You have to give them the biggest opportunity to do that. And, when you do – she will crave you, hunger for you, desire you in more ways that you could known or have every experienced. She will give herself completely to you. And, when she does there is nothing else in the world that will make you feel like more of a man. It will make you feel strong, powerful, acknowledged, and completely accepted for embracing your own masculinity. It will open up so many new “first time” doors. And, the sexual intimacy you experience will only be a door way to experience intimacy in new and unimaginable ways. Your expectations will be exceeded time and time again.
I want you to remember that the bedroom will be a snapshot of what is really happening in the relationship. And, if a woman truly enjoys your company, truly enjoys being in the relationship with you: she will do anything with you and for you. You can make the decision as to whether you want to meet her emotional needs. And, once you do meet these emotional needs at very high levels you would have created your own little horny devil. Can you see now how sexual compatibility will become an issue of the past?
I’ve had my say, now it’s your turn!